28 July 2005

Statue of Madonna Can Move

Thousands of Italian pilgrims flocked to a village near Naples in the hope of seeing a plaster statue of the Virgin Mary miraculously moved her legs.

Plastered Madonna

What's so special about that?

If I get plastered on 6 pints of Special Brew not only does the entire world spin around at high speed but my piss turns to blood. Also, stigmata-like cuts and bruises inexplicably appear on my knuckles and face the following day.

This happens on a regular basis yet I don't see anyone crowding around to catch a glimpse of me. In fact, people tend to avoid me when I am out on-the-town.


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